Difference between revisions of "Humor/Dialogs"
From HaskellWiki
< Humor
Dan.Weston (talk | contribs) |
(sm fmt) |
||
Line 2: | Line 2: | ||
Greedy Son: Dad, I need some new clothes. Gimme some money. |
Greedy Son: Dad, I need some new clothes. Gimme some money. |
||
− | Strict Dad: How many money do you need |
+ | Strict Dad: How many money do you need [pulls out wad of bills] |
Greedy Son: Mind your own business! I don't tell you how to earn the money, |
Greedy Son: Mind your own business! I don't tell you how to earn the money, |
||
so don't tell me how to spend it! I'll ask Mom instead. |
so don't tell me how to spend it! I'll ask Mom instead. |
||
Line 10: | Line 10: | ||
Student: I need a list of prime numbers |
Student: I need a list of prime numbers |
||
− | Teacher: Easy. I'll give you the first one: 2. Now test each odd integer starting at 3 |
+ | Teacher: Easy. I'll give you the first one: 2. Now test each odd integer starting at 3 and try dividing by every prime up to its square root. |
− | and try dividing by every prime up to its square root. |
||
Student: But I need to already know the primes in order to divide them into my candidates, don't I? |
Student: But I need to already know the primes in order to divide them into my candidates, don't I? |
||
Teacher: No problem, I have an infinite list of them! I'll make you a deal. |
Teacher: No problem, I have an infinite list of them! I'll make you a deal. |
||
I'll feed you these divisor primes as you need them, and you tell |
I'll feed you these divisor primes as you need them, and you tell |
||
me whether your numerator ended up being prime. |
me whether your numerator ended up being prime. |
||
− | Student: |
+ | Student: OK, 3 is the next prime number |
− | Teacher: [ |
+ | Teacher: [Quickly writes this down on his list] |
Student: Hey, you're cheating! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm |
Student: Hey, you're cheating! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm |
||
generating primes faster than I need them, so really I'm stealing |
generating primes faster than I need them, so really I'm stealing |
||
Line 27: | Line 27: | ||
Athlete: I run on an infinitely long track. I can go forever in a straight line without coming to the end. |
Athlete: I run on an infinitely long track. I can go forever in a straight line without coming to the end. |
||
− | Trainer: Dummy, you're running on a treadmill. Look around |
+ | Trainer: Dummy, you're running on a treadmill. Look around: the walls aren't even moving. |
Athlete: I can't, the lights are off. The only thing I can see is the lighted path at my feet. |
Athlete: I can't, the lights are off. The only thing I can see is the lighted path at my feet. |
||
Trainer: Moron! Don't you see that number "2" painted on the treadmill that keeps repeating every couple meters? |
Trainer: Moron! Don't you see that number "2" painted on the treadmill that keeps repeating every couple meters? |
||
Line 34: | Line 34: | ||
Athlete: Prove it! |
Athlete: Prove it! |
||
Trainer: Easy, I'll just write a "3" next to it. See, the "2" is gone, now it's "23". |
Trainer: Easy, I'll just write a "3" next to it. See, the "2" is gone, now it's "23". |
||
− | Athlete: Now who's the dummy |
+ | Athlete: Now who's the dummy? You know this ground is immutable - chalk won't stick to it. |
You must have transported me to a completely different track where the number "23" is written over and over. |
You must have transported me to a completely different track where the number "23" is written over and over. |
||
That God must be powerful to have made so many tracks like this. |
That God must be powerful to have made so many tracks like this. |
||
− | Trainer: Your logic is too lazy for me. You can't tell the difference between |
+ | Trainer: Your logic is too lazy for me. You can't tell the difference between an infinite list and a cyclic one. |
− | an infinite list and a cyclic one. |
||
Athlete: What do I care? I still get all the exercise I need! |
Athlete: What do I care? I still get all the exercise I need! |
Revision as of 16:14, 9 December 2007
- Laziness
Greedy Son: Dad, I need some new clothes. Gimme some money. Strict Dad: How many money do you need [pulls out wad of bills] Greedy Son: Mind your own business! I don't tell you how to earn the money, so don't tell me how to spend it! I'll ask Mom instead. Lazy Mom : Here's a credit card, Son. Just charge what you need.
- Borrowing from the Future
Student: I need a list of prime numbers Teacher: Easy. I'll give you the first one: 2. Now test each odd integer starting at 3 and try dividing by every prime up to its square root. Student: But I need to already know the primes in order to divide them into my candidates, don't I? Teacher: No problem, I have an infinite list of them! I'll make you a deal. I'll feed you these divisor primes as you need them, and you tell me whether your numerator ended up being prime. Student: OK, 3 is the next prime number Teacher: [Quickly writes this down on his list] Student: Hey, you're cheating! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm generating primes faster than I need them, so really I'm stealing from myself. What's the use pretending I'm getting them from you? Teacher: No, I'm just doodling, I really do know all the primes. Your code is much simpler with me handing you the divisor primes anyway. What do you care where I get them from? It's no extra work for you!
- Running in Circles
Athlete: I run on an infinitely long track. I can go forever in a straight line without coming to the end. Trainer: Dummy, you're running on a treadmill. Look around: the walls aren't even moving. Athlete: I can't, the lights are off. The only thing I can see is the lighted path at my feet. Trainer: Moron! Don't you see that number "2" painted on the treadmill that keeps repeating every couple meters? Athlete: Of course, amazing how someone had the patience to keep painting the number 2 over and over. Trainer: Has it occurred to you that that is the same number "2" going by each time? Athlete: Prove it! Trainer: Easy, I'll just write a "3" next to it. See, the "2" is gone, now it's "23". Athlete: Now who's the dummy? You know this ground is immutable - chalk won't stick to it. You must have transported me to a completely different track where the number "23" is written over and over. That God must be powerful to have made so many tracks like this. Trainer: Your logic is too lazy for me. You can't tell the difference between an infinite list and a cyclic one. Athlete: What do I care? I still get all the exercise I need!