From HaskellWiki
< Humor
Revision as of 17:12, 26 November 2007 by DonStewart (talk | contribs) (find new `galconn' link)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Are your professors after you for Haskell homework again?

Do they laugh at you on Haskell mailing list when you ask about permutations?

Do people post joke answers to your questions without helping you at all?

How much time did you waste trying to install ghc?

Who really understands those Hugs error messages anyway?

Is it really possible to figure out what's wrong when the stack overflows?

Does your girlfriend make fun of your diminished cranial capacity?


The Galois Homework Team will make sure that you get the right answers. Get full credit for every assignment or YOU PAY NOTHING! That's right! Wrong answers won't cost you a penny.

What do you need? A simple sorting function? Fibinocci numbers? A monad? We do it all. True/False questions. Short answers. One line programs. One page programs. Full sized applications. Term papers. Master's theses. And EVEN DISSERTATIONS!


Homework is just part of the problem! We bet you have to take tests too! Never fear, though. Help is on the way.

For just $100 we will send you a special pencil that sends your test questions STRAIGHT TO THE GALOIS HOMEWORK DESK! And then WRITES THE CORRECT ANSWERS in your OWN HANDWRITING! This special pencil is COMPLETELY UNDETECTABLE! Your prof will never know just how stupid you are!

Price schedule:

  • Problems from popular Haskell texts: $5
  • Short answer questions: $10
  • Programs: $1 / line of code (comments extra)
  • Dissertations: call us.

This service is COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL! No need to broadcast your cluelessness to the entire internet.

Check out our satisfied customers:

From John Hughes:


Please rush me the GALOIS HASKELL HOMEWORK PENCIL by special delivery! I will pay only a PALTRY $100 for this LABOUR SAVING WONDER! NEVER AGAIN will I scratch my head with ANY OTHER PEN!

How much do you charge for PhDs? And can it SET homework problems too?

Nice work guys.


And don't worry - if other students in your class are also using our services we promise that NO TWO PROGRAMS that we provide will EVER be the SAME! Fritz, our homework specialist, can create hundreds of ways to handle even the simplest task. That's right, even factorial!

Please see our website for more details.

No Visual Basic programming, please.